Sunday Reflections

The snow is starting to melt, to compact: the drifts shrink and the deer's footprints show up as deep dimples. The birds are calmer: the warm weather lets them sleep, I think. Hubby is in front of two football games and I am working at my desk. He scraped the ice off the driveway, taking advantage of the warmth, and the time -- and announced that he was sorry to break the Sabbath but it simply had to be done. Where do these ideas come from, dredged up from a childhood in a church, but not reviewed or validation for, lo, these twenty (++) years? It's a good thing that Sabbath doesn't have the same meaning or social norms that it used to -- when else would I do the grocery shopping, laundry, ironing, clean the refrigerator, catch up on grading, update the lecture notes -- and fit in a necessary nap? Ah, the Sabbath! AKA: "Catch Up Day." We shall eat northern and hashbrowns in another hour.

I saw a church-connection at the grocery store, though really she has no connection with the church but with the "bread angel" business that was based at the church. She passed on some gossip, and I told her that I got a few calls when the ad for my former job showed up in the weekly paper. We will keep connected via phone and snail mail. The last three years had their value: a few special friendships that I know (now in my aging wisdom) are to be nurtured and maintained and not squandered or erased (as I am doing with any reminders of the old boss!). I had lunch with an old and re-found friend on Friday -- she thanked me about five times for making her leave her home business office and thereby preserving her sanity. Basically, she's not capable of taking a break by herself and needs reliable people in her life with whom to make unbreakable dates (good strategy!). Next weekend, I'll see Old BFF for our semi-monthly meeting; add a little Christmas and a lot of "Who am I now?" talk and it will be a valuable way to spend an afternoon. I discount the value of shopping together or a night of board games, I know, and perhaps I am not very good at the mechanics of friendship -- though I am well-aware of the value of my friends' reflection of me. My "looking glass self" seems to be going through some sort of a resurgent importance. I am getting lost in Who Was I and Who Will I Become, and these friends, the ones who have known me for 30 years or 3 years, are valuable for being a mirror. At this moment, I am centered and self-aware. At this moment, I like who I am. At this moment, I know exactly what will happen next in my life. I am not old enough or wise enough to be entirely comfortable with not knowing....

The Christmas presents are (almost) completely purchased and wrapped (!!!). I sent off small boxes of two or three wrapped gifts to the adult children in California -- for them to use in their own created holiday observances. We'll see both of them "sometime" over the college/holiday break, and I have a few gifts to go under the Home Tree -- so, the reward for moving away is TWO Christmasses! I must get to the store that holds the special request video and soundtrack for the youngest -- Santa comes to "children" under the age of 18, and she sent her "note to Santa" by email last week: I am the mama who will try her hardest to make wishes come true! And (I should probably make a list!) there must be turkey, and I have to move the houseplants, and where is that stand...... I resist the Christmas spirit that is flaunted right after Halloween but, now, with the 12-inches of snow on the ground (already shrunk to 9 inches), the spirit flares within my heart. I bought wreaths for the front door at the grocery store...... Happy Holidays! Whatever god you worship, whereever you may put up your tree, however symbolic that tree may be, may all the best of wishes that go with the NEW YEAR come true for you & yours ---