I am not profound today, though it's not zeroth

Today is .... the second day of following my new year's resolutions (OK, I did not yet do the 11 minutes of exercise, but I do plan to vacuum!)..... and it's sunny, rather warm for this time of year, and I accomplished, oh, about four things on my Do-List!  I am struck or stalled by a claggy feeling ("claggy" from Monroe the British version of House, meaning to feel thick, slow, languid, & lazy) that I shall ascribe to the old effects of aging in general.   And before anyone says, "Awww...." let me direct to this upbeat take on the whole situation:  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tMyNhTAFoU

Today is.... a day when I have to get the right DATE matched to the DAY and create a new sylly.  So I need to be able concentrate and focus.  Though I am claggy, I am not experiencing zeroth, which is the state or attitude of zero (from the 365 New Word A Day Calendar!).  I have done a bit of dishes, counter-wiping, laundry, and taken down Christmas.  I trimmed my bangs and plucked some whiskers.  And I did answer an email and set a birthday card in the outgoing mail pile.  So, things do get done --- just with less enthusiasm and energy.

Today is........ a really wonderful day.  I'm alive, sober, still breathing, loved.  I have a great stack of fascinating and fun books to read.  I own a quality vacuum cleaner.  The aphids seem to have left the amaryllis (cold coffee grounds and herbal tea bags - works every time!) and I think I saw a snow bunting!  The end of the world is, perhaps, always near:  when you fail to see the wonders of today, or the benefits of holding on until tomorrow, then it really isn't worth continuing.  It is -- every day -- a new chance to do it better.  Anne H. said last night, something like, "Even if I do it wrong, if it's the right thing, then I am doing it right."  

One very good thing about getting older is that I usually, almost always, know what is the right thing to do.

The last day of 2012: we're still here!

It is sunset on the Big Muddy, on December 31, 2012.  Time to get started on the new year resolutions!  It's mostly a re-do, or DittoDitto list:  quit smoking, start exercising, lose 10 pounds, teach better, learn to sew, make more dates with friends........ grow more tomatoes, can some beans, harvest  broccoli....... get another dog, take a train ride, clean the basement.............same old same old.  

Perhaps the whole idea of new year resolutions is that it is a new year. Toss out the sense of failure, do the hokey-pokey, and turn yourself into another year of learning.    I heard a great story on the radio, about the Mayan "end of the world" calendar   http://thestory.org/archive/20121211_The_Story The_End_of_The_World.mp3/view     and how the "end" was simply the end of the year -- though their year was a bit more than 365 moon-circling days.  It was not the END of the world, but the end of the old, the tattered, the worn, the sense of failure.  It was not really an ending type of end, but a beginning type of end:  turn around, do the hokey-pokey, and start over again, refreshed and renewed!

Hubby just came home from work, to an ethusiastic greeting from Bob, the dog:  the day starts over for the dog when we are again all together (he can't remember breakfast).  I could take a lesson from the dog: be ready, at all times, for a new day!!!

And the sun has sunk a little further.  The sunshine on my computer screen is dappled by the willow tree, outside, and the hibiscus bush, inside.  The day is ending.  The year is ending.   And there's so much to do....

So, until tomorrow!  

It's never ever too late!  Happy New Year!

Hoppy Easter!!! April 8th, 2012

10:30 AM CST. Four cups of coffee. I watched Charles Osgood play an old song on the piano, wearing a bowtie printed with jonquils. I read another chapter of Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver, the one where she shares the coming of spring in their new mountain home, and the "TRANQUILS" that her daughter saw in the garden. I planted, this morning, the hen-and-chicks that the Ettrick bread-angels brought last night when they picked up this week's shipment -- bound for Barron and Bloomer, via the children who are coming home for the holiday. It took me more than fifteen minutes to figure out what to wear to an Easter dinner with the in-laws: the closet is still filled with the blacks & browns of winter, and the winter butt requires me to eliminate a few spring-like skirts, and it's 60 degrees now but predicted to hit 40 degrees by dark.... Hoppy Easter! The sun is shining, and Hubby just bought his fishing license. Spring is truly sprung......... ok, maybe we'll get a little more snow..... this is Wisconsin, after all!

I shall not share here the musings on the meaning of the religious "EASTER" that have flitted through my mind: too much like preparing for the Chapter 13 lecture! But I shall say this:

When we had young children at home, and Easter baskets, and an Easter dinner, it was a different sort of day. Oh, my! And, many of the years, the snow was still piled deep in the places where the snowblower had thrown it for the winter's six months, and crocuses tried their inspiration darnedest to put their colorful heads out where we could spy them, contrasting with wet dark leaf piles or dirty icy snow scraps. I remember the year that River ate the eldest child's Easter candy; and the year that I set up an Easter egg hunt in the house and found the last few about July, covered in ants that trooped in through the cracks in the window frame; and the annual whining from Hubby about green plastic Easter basket grass that clogged the vacuum for months (years?). I remember a driveway covered in "art" drawn with Easter gift chalk, books never read, school supplies lost in a drawer, and discussions about whether or not one should or should not eat the chocolate bunny's ears first.

Gotta go!

April 6th: "Good" Friday and a good FRIDAY (TGIF!)

Good morning! It is a beautiful day in my neighborhood! No school bus went by the house today so both the dog and me slept in. Today's plan: clean my office, watch a movie and do the ironing, catch up on grading and recording students' efforts............

An email from Dad was in the inbox this morning, and I pasted here the redacted version plus my reply. I am old and I fear for my country. There are voices of reason -- this is one I've heard -- (http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2012/04/stop-romanticizing-the-tea-party-movement/255530/), but they seem to be tiny voices, poor people's voices, veiled voices, and an echo in a vaccuum (can that exist?).

On the other hand (a sunny day breeds optimism), our country has been in a philosophical pickle before, and survived. According to Marx, conflict will result in resolution, and the new society will look very different from the old stratified and segregated version; so what's coming? I am old and eager to see (parts of) the future!

You see, it's never the environment; it's never the events of our lives, but the meaning we attach to the events - how we interpret them - that shapes who we are today and who we'll become tomorrow. Tony Robbins



Dear Anne --
My classmate, from kindergarten through 2 years at UW-- was defeated in Tuesday's election. The Tea-Party is in the small towns of our nation.

Dad

from the classmate, aka "Ex-mayor" ---
Friends--
You may now refer to me as ex-mayor (not a lot of pizzaz in that title). I got beat 935-921 in a race featuring the Wisconsin primary contest between Romney, et al. Even local politics has become partisan. My opponent [is] a very nice guy married to J ---, [and] was the benefactor of the conservative vote. I knew the situation was going to be a problem for me, but I did not respond well. I was over confident, thinking I would win anyway. Bad mistake. My closest advisors and political friends shared my optimism. My opponent did not work hard, had few signs, was very low key, did not in all our common appearances appear to think he had a chance (was he more clever than I thought?). So I responded in kind-- about the same no. of signs, no real extra effort on my part. Result: a loss.

Lesson learned: work harder, a maxim that will serve me well in my 80's. (:

I loved being mayor!


I replied to Dad:
Dad --
I am saddened… and [the] last sentence is the epitome of the citizen-politician! Rumors are flying that the Republicans [here] will put fake Democrats in the recall primary. I just finished a week of lecturing on Chapter 11:Politics and Economic systems, in sociology – we create social institutions like “governments” to serve our society, yet the people we have been elected have lost sight of their purpose and become maniacal and egotistical, and detached. [Hubby] and I watch waaaay too much politics, plus we both listen to NPR – when I see the blank “YahdahYahdah” faces on too many of students, I understand why the Tea Party, as unofficial as it is, has gained so much traction: “Tell me what to think” say our voting adults, and the Tea Party candidates oblige.

Annie

April 5th... missed a day

I missed yesterday's opportunity to share something about my life.... I'm reading Farley Mowat's Never Cry Wolf (again), laughing out loud (again) at his rye and ribald humor. I am struck, too, with new awareness, that he is speaking of himself as a very young man, from the lifestage of being an older man. How much can we see -- and understand -- when we look back at our lives? I guess that is part of what I want to do this year.

Today, however, and right now, I look forward: another chick is leaving the nest ---- with my car. She's got riders to share the price of gas, and doesn't even know them except as email communiques. She's going to three big cities in the state, to re-connect with friends who are, as my BFF is for me, both mirrors and cheering squads. I can't worry about the chick: what will happen, will happen; chances are that nothing will happen other than a dose of self-confidance. So, instead I'll worry a little bit about my car.

Dancing.... with famous people.... on television....

April 3rd. Tuesday is a day of driving (which means, lots of public radio!!!), and today includes voting. I haven't decided who to vote for, so I'll give my mind the day to sort it out, and then share. In the meantime, I received an email-forward yesterday from Cousin Kim -- who is just one day older than me!! -- and, though I don't watch the show called Dancing with the Stars, the 4-M's Theory of Happiness sounds like a good idea............

1. Mindset -- The professionals and the guest stars of the show report that they consciously and consistently choose thoughts and feelings of optimism, positivity, gratitude, and appreciation. They know that a high-energy mindset translates into a great performance.

2. Meaning -- The dancers feel inspired by what they are doing. They're focused on something that is purposeful and meaningful to them. They always speak about the joy that they experience being on the show.

3. Movement -- Moving the body is good medicine. It produces big doses of happiness chemicals, and counteracts the stress chemicals that produce doubt, fear, and insecurity.

4. Membership -- All the dancers and all of the watchers are part of a like-hearted group: we feel connected to others, having a good relationship, and experiencing a sense of belonging -- all of which are fundamental to living in a state of happiness.

The email writer, "Marci," suggests that we USE the 4 M's:

A)Check out our mindsets and schedule THANK YOU moments during the day,

B)Complete this sentence: "My life feels meaningful when I __________," and then actually DO the activity in the sentence,

C) Stand up and stretch -- now, dance a little, get some outside fresh air, shake your bootie (OK, I said that part)

D) Connect with people who share your values, volunteer, join a group, take a class.

And, "Marci" says you can find her on Facebook! (one more thing to do on my list).

April 2nd 2012 -- I'm still 52 years old

This was a work day: I sat at my desk for more than half of my waking hours. If it wasn't for Mitt and Ann Romney calling, I might not have stood up and moved until Hubby got home! Dog and Hubby and I worked in the yard for about two hours, cleaning up the willow's weeping, the proof that Maximilian sunflowers are prolific, and discovering two plum babies worth saving, three asparagus, three quince in leaf, four currants, and leaves on the Manchurian apricot and the pear trees. Lovely day (partial day) in the sun, committing purposeful work that burns calories. Dinner was chops on the Christmas gift grill and another steam-in-the-bag (love those!). Now, back to work until my favorite t.v. shows come on.

This was a normal day. A workaholic's day. A regular (this semester) Monday. A day when I think outside of "me" and think about "me" as a purveyor of truths and questions to ponder. When the piles of ungraded papers get high enough to topple, I ask myself -- quick, before the students ask! -- what is the purpose? And then I grade some of those papers and realize what students MAY learn from the homework: to read the directions, to follow a rubric, to read critically and for meaning. It's not the points -- though you can't convince them of that! -- it's the action, the purpose, the implicit message of homework: do your best. I hope students discover their own personal best! W. Edwards Deming wrote and lectured about a person's perception of intrinsic quality, and William Glasser took the idea into the schools. How do you teach a student about his or her own personal best? How do you say, with the teacher's red pen, that this is good, and that is, like, lame-o? What sort of homework makes a student excited, engaged, and contemplative, about self, talents, goals, and a sense of one's own "best" work? This was a normal day: I asked the questions and found few answers. I am a plugger!!

I cannot reach my toes.

In the photo, Dad, brother, Grandmother (never "Grandma" and "G.G." to my children), me about age 9, Mom. I can't tell where we are.... I have great legs! A tomboy's legs. Nice shoes! And dig that jacket on Mom! Retro rules: fashions always come back. I may never again, however, wear a dress that short.