You know, my greatest fear is losing my mind. I abused the brain cells for about two decades, but have spent the last two decades sober, clean, eating healthy (I'm on probiotics now!). I'm teaching memory tricks in one class, and Alzheimer's in another -- and reading lots and lots, and panicking. I didn't eat enough blueberries! I can't get enough Vitamin E (because it gives me acne). I don't get enough exercise, and there's very little weight-bearing in the winter. I hate Soduko. Am I doomed?
The research is still coming in but it's pretty conclusive: yes, I can do lots and lots to repair my brain and exercise my memory. And I could find out (for a fee) if I have the genes that will make it more likely (not "definite") that I may get one of the memory-impairing diseases. Would I want to know that statistical probabilities? What would I do with the information, if I was told at age 50 that I would be a veg by age 80? What difference would that make in my life?
I'm not sure I have time to come up with any answers. I have trouble remembering what day it is! And, that trouble is all of my own making: I work "too much" and I have "too many" thoughts in my head -- like the recent request for ideas from the Diversity in Education committee at school............ and the overflowing ironing basket............ and the need to transplant the single squash plant that is growing in the potting room...............
If I can figure out how to attach a file to this blog, I'll give you the National Geographic article on memory from last year. It tells a few stories of people -- and suggests that losing your mind, when you have lost enough to not know anymore that you are losing it, can make you happier --- and it summarizes the recent research.
Gotta go -- there's some almonds downstairs and I'm having sardines for lunch!
Showing posts with label Alzheimer's. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Alzheimer's. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
My Greatest Fear (this week)
The book: Still Alice by Lisa Genova. A novel about early-onset Alzheimer's.
The back story: Last Saturday, I left the lights on in the CRV and it was dead when I got out of the grocery store. I had left my cell phone on top of the piano. At 9:00 AM, I felt fragile, tired, foggy. Because of store policy about liability, and my own fragile timidity, and the very strange circumstance of not knowing a single person in the store, I used the store phone to call roadside assistance ($3/ month well-spent). I had to wait an hour, and bought a book to pass the time. What attracted me to this novel? The subject: I teach about aging. I read and wept the rest of the weekend.
At my age, there are three, maybe four, reasons to lose a thought: age, multi-tasking, menopause, and, of course, Alzheimer's. The book -- with a rich resource file in the back pages -- makes it clear that only one of three genetic mutations may result in early-onset Alzheimer's. Since I have no blood relatives with Alzheimer's, statistically I am very unlikely to get the disease until I am really old. Comforting!
Yet, I wonder.... I am fascinated by aging, and determined to age gracefully and inspirationally! But there was that mis-spent youth.... How many times do I forgive myself for forgetting something? How frightened should I be when I spend a few moments not sure what day it is or to what school I should be driving? There is a sense -- today anyway, as I prepare for the first class of one, and the start of two next week -- that there is just simply no room in my brain for any other thoughts. I work. I keep the house standing. I eat and rest and take my vitamins. I take the dog out and generally have a few thoughts while outside about spring garden plans. But, the blog is put-off; re-organizing the bathroom is delayed; the ironing basket fills; a date with my husband just doesn't fit in the calendar. Friends? I have to make dates and mentally categorize them with "work" so I can find no reason to cancel a walk or a cuppa meeting. Is everyone's life like this?
The back story: Last Saturday, I left the lights on in the CRV and it was dead when I got out of the grocery store. I had left my cell phone on top of the piano. At 9:00 AM, I felt fragile, tired, foggy. Because of store policy about liability, and my own fragile timidity, and the very strange circumstance of not knowing a single person in the store, I used the store phone to call roadside assistance ($3/ month well-spent). I had to wait an hour, and bought a book to pass the time. What attracted me to this novel? The subject: I teach about aging. I read and wept the rest of the weekend.
At my age, there are three, maybe four, reasons to lose a thought: age, multi-tasking, menopause, and, of course, Alzheimer's. The book -- with a rich resource file in the back pages -- makes it clear that only one of three genetic mutations may result in early-onset Alzheimer's. Since I have no blood relatives with Alzheimer's, statistically I am very unlikely to get the disease until I am really old. Comforting!
Yet, I wonder.... I am fascinated by aging, and determined to age gracefully and inspirationally! But there was that mis-spent youth.... How many times do I forgive myself for forgetting something? How frightened should I be when I spend a few moments not sure what day it is or to what school I should be driving? There is a sense -- today anyway, as I prepare for the first class of one, and the start of two next week -- that there is just simply no room in my brain for any other thoughts. I work. I keep the house standing. I eat and rest and take my vitamins. I take the dog out and generally have a few thoughts while outside about spring garden plans. But, the blog is put-off; re-organizing the bathroom is delayed; the ironing basket fills; a date with my husband just doesn't fit in the calendar. Friends? I have to make dates and mentally categorize them with "work" so I can find no reason to cancel a walk or a cuppa meeting. Is everyone's life like this?
The picture: my babies. They are all grown-up now: beautiful, successful, happy. I have to look at pictures to remind myself of what they looked like! That oldest child look of disdain, the lovely halo of hair that morphed into a Hawk, and the bald round girl who looks now like a California babe. The years fly by! Family dynamics change. I'll keep the pictures handy to look at, and crane my neck around the corner a new day -- and save some brain room for new memories.
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